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Askew Review 15

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VAMPIRE’S SEDUCTION/MISTY’S SECRET (Seduction Cinema) 1998 (featurette Year 2000). Erotic comedy.  Total running time approx 120 minutes. NR, nudity, sexual situations.  In Vampire’s Seduction, Dracula’s evil daughter (Tina Krause) turns the nerdy Wally Van Helsing into her mindless servant to fetch her some beautiful lesbians to add to her lair. Zombified, Wally heads out and seeks out the lesboes. First, he voyeurs a hot blond as she showers and gives herself an lotion massage. Of course he fails to capture her and moves on to his next victim. This time Wally peeps in on a slumber party as three women explore each other for the first time. Yup, Wally screws this one up too. Next up, Wally watches as a psychiatrist seduces her female patient. However, this encounter is interrupted when a guido pizza delivery boy, tank top and all, shows up and joins in on the fun. Still empty-handed, Wally heeds the words of his great vampire-hunting uncle and destroys the evil lesbian vampire. In Misty’s Secret, we get to watch Misty Mundae (my favorite b-move queen) take a long bath, in which she is eventually joined by Tine Krause. There is also a secondary story line, but who cares about that. Just stick with Misty in the tub!
              First off, take any horror you might expect associated with a Vampire and throw it out the window. There is zero horror here, unless you find a topless babe with fangs horrifying. Vampire’s Seduction is simply three sex scenes with very brief, and comical, appearance by the female vamp between romps. The sex scenes are soft core and only exhibit topless women. My favorite is the trio slumber party action, which I’m not very proud of due to the fact that two of the girls are supposed to be young’ins. John Paul Fedele (Wally) plays perhaps the nerdiest nerd since Robert Carradine as Louis in Revenge of the Nerds. Debbie Rochon makes a cameo as Waitress Mary. Keep an open for the film-crew’s reflection in the diner’s window. Too funny. Concerning Misty’s Secret; I can sum this one up with one phrase: Misty Mundae naked. That’s all you need to know. The action here is topless and bottomless with very softcore female on female sex. I did’t get into the story part of this featurette because I had no idea what was going on. I was too mesmerized by Misty. God I love her. The tape conclude with some out-takes and bloopers. This one speaks for itself. – Denis Sheehan


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