Bone Print Press

Askew Review 15

 Movie Reviews
 CD Reviews
 Book Reviews
 Past Writings
 Zine Info/Contact
 Review Policy
 Back Issues


Back to the Video Reviews Page


TERROR FIRMER- (Troma) Horror/comedy. Approx. 150 minutes. NR, extreme gore, nudity. Not only does this crew of independent filmmakers have to face the normal problems with shooting an indie flic, they have to deal with a sexually confused, murderous maniac. Led by their blind Director Larry (Troma co-founder Lloyd Kaufman), the crew sets out to make the greatest movie ever. However, along the way, cast and crew members are brutally killed by a sexy woman wearing black. As the gruesome murders continue, Larry is able to keep moral high and keep the shot schedule on time. He also tries his best to get his 12 year old (or so) daughter Audrey (played by Lloyd’s real life daughter) to start talking again. She went mute years ago after seeing her Mother get her head squashed as a stampeding talk show audience trampled her to death. Back to the carnival at hand, one guy gets his head bashed in after having a funnel jammed up his ass, an over weight investor of the film gets hacked with an ax and eaten by an elevator, a black actor is shot and killed on the set, a punk rock fx dude gets his legs chopped off (not sure how the murderer pulled that one off-you’ll see when you watch the flic), and lets not forget the guy who has his penis stretched about 12 feet. Along with the murders, production assistant Jennifer (Alyce LaTourelle) has to decide between two men who she loves more. First there is Casey (Will Keenan), the good looking, sensitive sound man. Then there’s Jerry (Trent Haaga), the over the top, make up effects man who likes nothing more than to goof off. As she grows closer to Casey, she discovers a few little nasty secrets that shock the snot out of her.
       The only thing missing from this circus of a movie is the scent of elephant poop and popcorn. Troma fans will love this movie, while others may be just a tad bit repulsed. The vapid crudeness of this movie is only the beginning of the pure genius that Lloyd Kaufman has captured on film. Of course, the killings are purely grotesque works of art. You will never see more sickening head squishing, penis stretching, and body chopping anywhere else. Hey, the scene of the punker getting his legs chopped off is extra ucky. The movie is shot utilizing past Troma releases and characters. All of our favorite Troma personalities are present, Toxic Avenger, Sgt. Kabukiman, etc. To make things extra festive, Debbie Rochan stars as the star! I love her. I did have one problem with this fine movie; there are too many penis shots for me. The fat naked guy running around New York City naked was especially repulsive. Seeing him die made me smile, although his close up cock shot didn’t.  If I want to see penis, I’ll take a peek down my pants. Thankfully, there are enough nude women to help offset the penises. Oh, did I mention the puking fest in the car? Truly amusing.  This flic is influenced by Lloyd Kaufman’s book "All I Need To Know About Filmmaking I Learned From The Toxic Avenger," which is plugged a few times during the flic. Yes, that’s Ron Jeremy and Moterhead’s Lemmy guest starring. The movie ends with a mock public service announcement preaching fairness for hermaphrodites starring South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Terror Firmer was shot on 35mm and the cast does pretty good job acting. I especially like Charlotte Kaufman’s portrayal as Audrey. She was funny making all of her goofy face as she tried to force words out of her mouth. I’d have to say that this baby has taken over as my favorite Troma release. Check the baby out!- Denis Sheehan


Website created and maintained by Denis Sheehan. Copyright©1999-2011. As long as you give credit where credit is due (and a link if on the web), feel free to reprint anything you wish. If you don’t give full credit and I find out, well, I don't know, really.