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Askew Review 15

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One night, one Director, two movies, and many beers

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MARI-COOKIE AND THE KILLER TARANTULA (Sub Rosa) 1998. Erotic horror/comedy. 85 minutes. Rated 17+ for nudity, sexual content. Written and Directed by Jess Franco. In Spain, an aging, unattractive stripper (Lina Romay) entices all those who watch with her hypnotizing performance. After lulling an admirer into a drug like induced trace, she takes them home for a little extra fun. Of course, little does the admirer know, that the aging, unattractive stripper turns into a killer tarantula and sexually annihilates her victims before enslaving or killing them. As people start to disappear, the town sheriff (Michael Bauer) is hot on the case…all while wearing a thong and topless. Also entangled is a woman (Linnea Quigley) searching for her missing daughter (Amber Newman).
     God this was a nutty flic. First things first. Amber Newman is an absolute babe. Secondly, one of my all time loves, Linnea Quigley, isn’t what she use to be, but boy oh boy..she still does it for me. She doesn’t get naked here, but she does wear a nice, teasing bikini. She still looks great, but she has put some meat on her thighs. Doesn’t matter, I would still kill for her. Lina Romay is just gross, but she nicely pulls off this odd character. It is downright hilarious when she turns into the tarantula. Thing of a rubbery Halloween spider with Lina’s face super-imposed onto it. You’ll die laughing. Reminded me of The Fly (the original). There is lots of nudity and explicit shots, but the sex is more suggestive than shown. I’ve read that this movie is a collection of spoofs goofing on some of Jess’s past work. Not sure if that’s true though. Hey, if you know Jess Franco, you’ll enjoy this. If you do not know Jess, you will be left scratching your head. – Denis Sheehan

 

LUST FOR FRANKENSTEIN (Shock-O-Rama) Erotic Horror. Approx 90 minutes. NR, nudity, sexual content. Directed by Jess Franco. Moira Frankenstein (Lina Romay) is visited by her deceased father and told to revive his female creation. Moira does so and the female Monster (Michelle Bauer) lives again. However, the Monster quickly becomes jealous over Moira’s many lesbian lovers and does her best to dispose of them.
     OK, I watched this movie after Mari-Cookie and was purdy damn hammered. Therefore, I forget the details of this movie. However, I can pass along that this movie too, is one nutty flic. I do recall the Monster dry humping a tree. There is a lot of nudity and sex, but nothing hard-core. There are a few close up shots of that “special area.” I hear the sex is a tad bit more hard-core in the DVD version and deluxe European VHS edition. I suggest you buy either the DVD or European VHS. Egads, talk about a wacky night of Jess Franco. – Denis Sheehan

 

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