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Askew Review 15

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GLADIATOR EROTICUS (Seduction Cinema) Comedy/erotic parody. Approx 100 minutes. NR, nudity, softcore lesbian sex. This parody follows the storyline of Gladiator, with a few changes of course. First, you will not find Russell Crow in the lead role. Darian Caine takes the helm as Eroticus, a lesbian warrior who only wishes to return to her clan of fellow lesbians after being double-crossed by the dead emperor’s son, Dickus Minimus. On her journey home, Eroticus is captured and forced into slavery and must fight in the Gladiator…make that...fight in the Lesbian games. These games pit lovely women against one another to see who succumbs first to the flickering tongue of their enemy. Being the warrior she is, Eroticus quickly becomes the reigning champ. Like in Gladiator, Eroticus journey comes full circle when she does battle in front of Dickus Minimus. Not only does she win that battle, she also catches the eye of Dickus’s damn sexy sister Princess Clitoris (Misty Mundae). What Dickus doesn’t know, is that Princess Clitoris yearns for lesbianism and quickly becomes enchanted with Eroticus.
       First things first; Misty Mundae (pictured above with hand over boob) is my new favorite b-movie chickie. I am in love. Hurt me. This low budget erotic parody is as funny as it is erotic. I found the battle scenes to be most amusing with the Toys-R-Us amour and the goalie stick fighting goons. There are a ton of lesbian sex scenes with lots of different girls. These sex scenes are softcore, i.e. lots of boob licking and pseudo crotch munching. Writer/ Director John Bucchus (Erotic Witch Project) does a great job with this low budget romp because he has fun with the fact that he doesn’t have $800,000,000 to spend on the movie. There is all sorts of goofiness going one here along with the nicely done eroticism. B-movie starlet Debbie Rochon makes a cameo as well. Sorry Deb, Misty has knocked you off my “b-movie chickies I would pull my eye out of my head with a pickle fork for” list. Goofy fun, sexy lesbo action, and Misty Mundae? Are you kidding me? I have died and gone to heaven. – Denis Sheehan


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