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Askew Review 15

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(Seduction Cinema) Erotic spoof. Double DVD set containing the Unrated and rated R versions, plus extras. Total set running time is over 6 hours! Patricia Porker (Misty Mundae) is your average, shy college student simply trying to deal with school and a crush on a studly jock. However, Patricia’s shyness quickly disappears after a huge and hairy radioactive spider chomps her. Sweet Patricia suddenly finds herself with spider like abilities, including being able to shoot a web from her most private of areas! Using her newly found powers to fight crime and satisfy her sexual hungers, Spiderbabe quickly becomes both loved and hated by the public. However, as Spiderbabe’s notoriety grows, her best friend’s sister transforms herself into The Femtilian (Julian Wells), a sexually evil hottie looking to destroy Spiderbabe. Using New York City’s skyline as their battleground, the two sweeties do battle, and other things.
Let’s see, Spiderman is my favorite superhero and this movie mirrors the Spidey movie. One of my all time favorite chickies, me sweet sweet Misty Mundae stars as Spiderbabe. Another all time favorite chickie, me sweet sweet Julian Wells stars as the villain. Lots of nudity and softcore lesbian action. Some comedy. Some cheese. Oh my God, Spiderbabe is the best movie ever made. OK, maybe not, but this double DVD set sure is one humdinger (humdingah for my fellow Bostonians) of a great time. Yes, that’s a lame way to describe a movie, but it’s accurate. You get two versions of the movie, plus a boatload of extras. As always, Misty and Julian steal the show. However, the dude who plays the pain in the arse (Justin Wingenfield or Wingenfeld-spelled differently within the movie credits and extras) that constantly harasses Patricia is near genius in his role. I didn’t know whether to whack the jerk through the tv or cheer him on and hope for more. Not only did he play the perfect role, he looked it too! One thing I did find disappointing was the under-usage of Spiderbabe’s “gift” of webslinging. ‘Twas a great idea that should have been beatin’ till the horse dropped dead. Like Spiderman, Spiderbabe’s ending screams sequel-literally. Now that Misty and Julian are fresh in my mind, I’m off to enjoy some of my own webslinging. – Denis “going straight to hell for that last comment” Sheehan



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