Bone Print Press


Askew Review 15

 Movie Reviews
 CD Reviews
 Book Reviews
 Past Writings
 Staff
 Zine Info/Contact
 Review Policy
 Submissions
 Back Issues
 Search






To the DVD Review page


THE SEXY ADVENTURES OF VAN HELSING
(Seduction Cinema) Horror/Spoof. 88 Minutes. Unrated, lots of nudity and simulated lesbian sex. Wilhelmina Van Helsing (Erika Smith) is the last of her line.  She is unaware of her lineage until she is visited by the ghost of her ancestor Abraham Van Helsing (Bob McKay).  He informs her that Dracula (Darian Caine) is in the area and out for blood.  Uncle Abe tells Wilhelmina that she must avenge his death and destroy Dracula.  Of course her first attempt fails horribly and she switches sides.  Now she is hunting lesbians for Dracula's dinner.  See, the logic here is that Dracula needs virgins to survive.  Lesbians only have sex with girls therefore their maidenhead is still intact.  Wilhelmina agrees to help Dracula but Dracula has to give her something in return.  Immortality.  So, Wilhelmina goes into the night to get loads of lesbians for Dracula.
    
This is actually a pretty funny flick.  Erika Smith does a great job with acting the doofus.  As she encounters more and more lesbian encounters she gets hotter and hotter looking.  I was surprised to see her keep her clothes on for so long in the film.  This is not the usual practice for Seduction Cinema, but plenty of other women are glad to shed their clothes for the camera in this film.  Bob McKay as Abraham Van Helsing is fantastic and a real comedic find.  He needs to be in more of these kind of things.  
     I only have one complaint about the entire film.  What is up with putting a deleted scene from LORD OF THE G-STRINGS in this film?  It doesn't fit and any true fan of Seduction Cinema's films identify it right on the spot.  Were they that leery of releasing a film without Misty Mundae that they thought it was necessary?  Or was it just a way to pad out a remake.  Whatever the reason, knock it off!   
    
One other reason to own this disc is the inclusion of a second film.  VAMPIRE'S SEDUCTION (1998)  In this one it's Wally Van Helsing (played by the equally funny John Fedele) and he's tracking down lesbians for Dracoola (Tina Krause).  Any true Tina Krause fan, myself included, need to get this one for their collection.  Being one of her earlier flicks we get to see all of that incredible female figure.  Most of her newer stuff she keeps her clothes on and I don't have a problem with that.  She's paid her dues and deserves to show off her acting chops.  This one is a little rough around the edges compared to the main feature, but I think it's funnier.
    
Along with the second flick we get deleted scenes, commentary on VAMPIRE'S SEDUCTION by Michael Raso and a behind the scenes documentary on the main feature that basically tells us that no one directed the film!  Seems they've done enough of these that a director is a luxury at this point.  Whatever.  If you're a fan you'll get it.  The rest of the world just looks at it funny and scratches their heads. - Douglas A. Waltz

 

 

Website created and maintained by Denis Sheehan. Copyright©1999-2011. As long as you give credit where credit is due (and a link if on the web), feel free to reprint anything you wish. If you don’t give full credit and I find out, well, I don't know, really.