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THE NAUGHTY STEWARDESSES
(Retro Seduction Cinema) 1974. Drama? 96 minutes. Rated R, nudity. Marge, Barbara, and Jane are three hip chicks flying around the world as mini-skirt, white leather go-go boots, funny ass huge hat wearing airline stewardesses. Debbie is a small town girl who travels to Los Angeles to join the mini-skirt, white leather go-go boots, funny ass huge hat wearing stewardesses team. Upon arriving at the trio’s swinging pad, Debbie soon realizes that although she is different than the rest of the women, she is very much the same. Wanting to be more than just a mini-skirt, white leather go-go boots, funny ass huge hat wearing airline stewardess, Debbie gets involved with one very uncool cat and looks for a little stability in the form of one crusty old fart. Feeling outraged and jealous, the very uncool cat decides to get back at the crusty old fart, and uses Debbie and her fellow mini-skirt, white leather go-go boots, funny ass huge hat wearing airline stewardess as pawns in his very uncool chess game.
               
Holy early 1970’s style gem Batman! Brought to you by drive-in gods Sam Sherman and Al Adamson, this movie should be in the Smithsonian to preserve the wacky early 70’s culture and for proof that such a zany time existed. First off, you have to love the glasses these people wore. The lenses’ diameter is equivalent to that of the Hubble Telescope. Granted, mini-skirts look great on the right woman, but please loose the go-go boots and the jiffy pop popcorn hats! The plot itself is useless, but I couldn’t stop watching this DVD because I couldn’t wait to hear more bad/funny dialog and just had to see what strutted across the screen next. One perplexing scene; the women throw a party and judging by the way all the guests eat, one would think they were all vacationing in Ethiopia for a week or two before the bash. Watch your hand or you might lose it. Brewster, the crusty old fart, is played by Robert Livingston, who had a pretty successful career starring in about 8 million cowboy movies and tv shows. In fact, ol’ Bobby once portrayed Zorro and The Lone Ranger. How’s that for useless B Western Trivia? The fact that this old dude was bedding women nonstop in this movie was a tad disturbing to me. There’s nothing worse than seeing a 70 year old man (although his character is suppose to be in his 50s) wearing a powder blue jumpsuit successfully seducing young woman. Wait a minute, maybe there’s hope for me yet. One encouraging note concerning the 70’s style; the women actually wore hot underwear, as opposed the usual Grammy undies normally scene in early 70s movies. The print is restored from its original 35mm negative and is far from perfect as it’s loaded with white speckles and other assorted “stuff.” Who cares though? These defects in the print actually help set the tone and attitude for this movie. Extras include; commentary by Sam Sherman, trailers, tv spot, a deleted Livingston sex scene, and one silly outtake. Who knows what “Locked Loins” has to do with The Naughty Stewardesses? This movie as a movie will not win any awards, minds, or hearts, but damn there’s so much going on here you can’t help being humorously entertained. – Denis Sheehan

 

 

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