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Askew Review 15

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BLAZING STEWARDESSES
(Retro-Seduction Cinema) 1975.  Originally produced and released by Independent International Pictures, a.k.a. IIP.  Comedy (supposedly). 96 minutes.  Color.  Rated R.  Wow this movie was bad.  I mean it was just awful.  It took me just under three weeks to finish watching it.  I’d watch for a few minutes, realize I had better things to do such as stare at the wall, shut it off, put if off for a few days then pick up from where I left off.  Okay Connie Hoffman, the “star”, was quite beautiful but who cares when there was absolutely no point to this mish mash of crap.  What was this movie about?  About to make me pissed!  Supposedly created as a sequel to the fairly well made sexploitation-comedy “Naughty Stewardesses”, which was actually worth watching despite being made in the ‘70’s which meant that 99.99% of the people just looked gross, this garbage wasn’t “naughty”, wasn’t alluring, AND had next to nothing to do with stewardesses (or flight attendants if you prefer).  Here’s the plot: three stewardesses fly to the middle of nowhere to help their friend revive his dude ranch; said friend is about to lose his shirt because hooded-horsemen wearing capes no less continually hijack the gambling equipment being shipped to the ranch via truck.  Do you care yet?  For star power they brought in Yvonne De Carlo (Lily from “The Munsters”) to portray a Madam as well as a singer – which do you think she would be worse at?  To top it off two of the Ritz Brothers occasionally appeared on screen and each time they did the film came grinding to a halt; to say they were unfunny would be kind.   Seeing them kiss after sharing a disgustingly huge submarine sandwich was less than pleasant; who thought that would be a plus?!  If you have cable and “Naughty Stewardesses” comes on or if one of your friends has it on vhs/dvd you might enjoy it for the camp factor but avoid “Blazing Stewardesses”.   Run away run away!  Flee!  Head for zee hillz!  - Dan Inger

 

 

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