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Askew Review 15

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(Sub Rosa Blue) 1997-2003. Artsy fartsy erotica. Approx 175 minutes. Many female models get naked while partaking in various fetishes, i.e. being covered with liquid latex then peeling it off, spanking, chicks get naked on or next to cars, bondage, body art, and of course a naked nun sucking on a crucifix while flippin’ you the bird, etc. Intertwined with all this softcore (no sexual acts, just nakies) action is blaring music (various rock genres) and many visual special effects.
Shot by the “maestro” of erotic photography, Justice Howard. I have no idea how to review these types of DVDs. Being your stereotypical undersexed male, of course I like to look at the occasional naked female. However, although the witnessing of naked females wasn’t the least bit negative, I am certainly not into any type of fetish (unless you consider tip toeing naked down a path of crab rangoons while Asian hotties read aloud the Declaration of Independence and demand that I write bad checks a fetish) and/or artsy erotica. True, the liquid latex was kind of cool, but that was only because it looked weird when the blondie (pictured) peeled it off her skin. I also enjoyed the body art for two reasons; most of the body painting resembled the sci-fi look of artist H. R. Giger, which I find cool, and one instance of art was a dead on match of a tattoo I would like to get on my leg. Realistically, I found these scenes to more interesting than erotic. As far as the rest of the stuff is concerned, I just don’t get it. Not that it was bad, or a turn off, it’s just not my bag, baby. Among the plethora of models and contributing bands; I’ve heard of none of them. Along with apologizing for this wishy-washy review, I’d like to apologize for bringing my crab rangoon walk, and bag, into things. Hey, if you’re into naked fetish artsy erotica, you’ll dig Hellcats. If not, then move along. – Denis Sheehan



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