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Askew Review 15

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GUMS- (Video Holocaust) 1976. Approx. 70 min. NR, censored sex.  Something sinister is lurking in the water off of Great Head Island and it’s up to Sheriff Cockrain to protect the holiday visitors. However, try as he does, people are falling victim to the swimming evil. At his wits end, Cockrain calls on his old buddy Dr. Seymour Smegma to help with his effort. After having a two on one with Seymour’s girlfriend Nancy, a blow up doll, the men hire Nazi Capt. Carl Clitoris to venture out to sea in search of -the sex hungry mermaid! This evil mermaid is attacking unsuspecting victims and giving them such great blowjobs, their cocks fall off! The mermaid even comes ashore to “attack” the Sheriff’s secretary. With the SS Cunilingus in shambles, and a huge blowup dildo in hand, our heroes come face to face with the mermaid.
    Sound familiar? It should if you’ve seen the Jaws. Gums is a sexual parody and follows the same basic plot as Jaws, however things are just plain goofy. All the hardcore sex scenes are covered by cartoons, therefore censored. There is a lot of nudity and the woman who plays the mermaid is a babe! The best thing about the movie is Dr. Smegma and Capt. Clitoris. Smegma, played by R. Bolla, is a hilarious clone of Richard Dreyfus’s character Hopper. The ever loony and intriguing Brother Theodore perfectly portrays the Captain. The humor can be compared to the goofy, off the wall humor in Kentucky Fried Movie. All in all, I found the censored scenes annoying and the movie is basically goofy as hell. I talked with Brian, the owner of Video Holocaust, and he told me there is an uncensored version floating around somewhere and he is looking for it. You may want to wait until that version is offered.- Denis Sheehan

 

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