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FIONA ON FIRE (Video Holocaust) 1977. Approx. 80 minutes. XXX, hardcore sex and violence. The movie opens with a male and female having sex in a darkened room. After the couple finishes up, the woman retreats to the shower while demanding that they will “fuck” again in twenty minutes. While showering, someone enters the bathroom and blows the woman’s head off with a high caliber shotgun. We then find out that the murdered woman is named Fiona Slocomb (Amber Hunt), a semi-famous model. To help with the investigation, Willy, a black police detective, uses the entries in Fiona’s diary to interview those who were close to her.  First up is Fiona’s fiancé Steven. He has nothing to offer so Willy lets him go. To help relieve his tension, Steven runs to his sister’s house and gets a blowjob! Still not feeling satisfied; Steven bolts to dungeon where a dominatrix sexually belittles him.  Next up for Dect. Willy is Fiona’s food delivery boy Ronald. All these stories are shown as  flashbacks. Ronald explains how he has always loved Fiona and expressed his love to her. At first put off by Ronald’s love, Fiona sends him away only to call him back after he reveals that he is a virgin. Fiona immediately shows Ronald every aspect of sex. Willy sees nothing wrong with Ronald and dismisses him. Now comes Sybil, Fiona’s manager. Of course, she details her lesbian experience with Fiona.  We then cut to the inside of a limousine where Orville, a black pimp, is getting a blowjob from one of his white hookers. As the woman sucks on his half limp cock, Orville yells “You’ve got 15 blocks and you better have some juice in your mouth….and don’t mess up my threads!” Like a true professional, the hooker succeeds. Orville, being the true professional he is, jettisons the hooker from his limo and orders her to make his ass some money. However, before he can close the door, Willy gets into the car and asks Orville about Fiona. Come to find out, Fiona liked her sex on the edge and asked Orville to set and her friend up to get raped. Keeping his word, Fiona’s friend his raped by two thugs as she helplessly watches (pictured). After the thugs finish with her friend, Fiona gets her’s. Finding nothing odd about this sick little friendship, Willy bids farewell Orville, who we find out are brothers.  It is here that the story takes a hairpin turn; Fiona, alive and breathing, appears. Willy must now figure out who the dead woman is, who killed her, and why. We are then treated to some Starsky and Hutch like “cops running through the subway looking for the bad guy” action. Like all good cops, Willy finds his man, corners Steven in the men’s room, and gets totally different story than what he was led to believe earlier. Ah, but it’s not over yet. Fiona and Willy end up romantically offering their love to each other and humping. However, the romance soon ends when Fiona attacks Willy with a pair of scissors while calling him a “Nigger Pig.” It is here that the truth comes out.
      Who ever would have thought that a smutty porn flic like this included my name? This movie offers a lot of bang for the buck; sloppy, dirty sex, male/female action, lesbo action, incest (!), some domination, inter-racial sex, and some racial slurs. This is the first porn I’ve seen that I thought all the actors were dirty and ugly! But, that didn’t stop it from turning me on. I found it rather amazing at how the actors are all able to speak so well even with a face full of pussy or with a cock in her mouth. Talk about too much voice over! Amber Hunt is a funny looking chick and has a bush between her legs that would frighten even the most hardened landscaper. Not only is it well protected, but when Amber opens wide, her pussy looks like an abused piece of shoe leather. Since this is a fantasy of mine, my favorite scene is when Fiona screws Ronald the delivery boy. I have always wanted to do that to a delivery person, male or female. Although, Ronald’s ass hair looked like an afro which was kind of gross. You will find the two rapist thugs most amusing. They prance onto the subway with their badass radio, which has the world’s longest antenna, and act all tuff even though they are stupid looking. I must agree with a few points Denis has made in his past 70’s porn reviews; everybody looks sweaty and nobody knew how to shave back then. This porn feels wrong, seems dirty, and has definitely turned me onto 70’s produced porn.  Give yourself a break from today’s top self, picture perfect porn and throw yourself at some good old fashioned gutter porn. It’ll make you feel so much better. – Fiona Skarsgard

 

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